le lun 16 jan 2012
How taking time to smell the roses can help us find fulfilment
Mail Online - 16 janvier 2012

How taking time to smell the roses can help us find fulfilment
By The Gyalwang Drukpa

Constant striving to be good at everything leaves too many of us feeling fit for nothing, so perhaps it’s time we discovered happiness in simple, everyday things. Leading Tibetan Buddhist The Gyalwang Drukpa explains how slowing down can help us find fulfilment

I love the modern world; we have so many opportunities to be generous and inspire each other. But in the day to day it is easy to rush without paying much attention or taking the time to appreciate just how precious life is.  

Our minds become restless. We run towards some future hope or dream, or away from things in our past. We lose our connection with life, with ourselves, and forget to enjoy the journey. Or we begin to lose faith in the world around us; there are so many problems to think about that we put our blinkers on and stop seeing what is right there, on the doorstep; what we can do to make a difference. We become attached to our rigid view of life, how we like things to be. But when the world doesn’t fit in with our wishes and desires, we become frustrated and stubborn; we forget how to bend and be flexible and life becomes difficult.

Sometimes, we should take a break from the fast track and slow down and look around us. When we slow things down, we find we have more time to do the things that really matter; we can look around and appreciate all the details; we feel connected with our own body, our own mind, with all the people in our life and with the world around us.

When you take a break from the fast track and look around, you will further your understanding and connect with yourself and with others. You may begin to discover or get to know more deeply what you truly want to achieve. In essence, this is a gentle reminder to live your life with compassion; to be kind to yourself so that you may be kind to others. It will help calm your wandering mind and let go of your own and others’ judgments and comparisons.

The highlight of my own life has been my acceptance. It allows me to enjoy every minute, whatever circumstances I am in, whatever my challenges and difficulties. It helps me to put judgments and comparisons aside; it helps me to know that I am good enough so long as I simply try my best in this life. It is this feeling of peace that I hope I can in some way pass on to you. You don’t have to be perfect and neither do you have to lay that pressure on to the shoulders of others. This understanding that we are perfectly OK, just as we are, makes us fearless so that we may let go of all the nonsense and live our lives making the world a better place, which is the best way to bring happiness into our hearts.

According to Buddhist philosophy, there are a number of things difficult to attain in this world. Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves that we are beginners and so these things won’t just be instantaneous or easy, but are well worth practising in our everyday lives.

Not so fast
When you slow down, you find so many ways to be connected with life — with other people, with your purpose, with yourself.

- Savour the moment and you will notice what truly catches your attention and inspires you.
- Mindful living makes life so much more relaxing and stretches out time so that we can do great things.
- When you slow down you can stop to help others more often rather than always being in a rush to get to your next destination.
- Focus on one thing at a time, and enjoy one thing at a time.
- If you slow down and are mindful, you can ask your inner self any question you like, however difficult, and you will know the answer.

Who’s your guru?
Appreciate those people who give you warmth and support; if you have a good friend then sooner or later they will in one way or another put you in the right direction. Value them from the depths of your heart.

- Good company increases compassion, loving kindness, wisdom and peace of mind, and embodies the inspiring spirit of encouragement.
- Trust in your intuition when you are with people. What energy are they giving out? Are you a good match?
- Trust in the guru within — allow your natural confidence to blossom and know that you can be your own best friend.
- Keep a watch for negative companions — those who mislead us or our own mental enemies that tell us we are not good enough, that stop us from stretching and growing.

Choose to be happy
Every day we make decisions. If you are at a crossroads, ask yourself, ‘What will bring me happiness more than pleasure?

- If you want to, you can bring harmony, happiness, understanding and enlightenment to the world. This can start today with simply sharing your warmth with others.
- Spend time thinking about what inspires you, what moves you. Seek it out in the everyday.
- Take just a little time to notice the details, the simple things. Make a cup of tea for your companion in the morning, stop for a moment to listen to the birds, listen attentively at work and find the thing you really want to say.
- Pass on a smile.
- Happiness will come to you when you bring happiness to others.

Enjoy the journey
Spend a little time each day contemplating all the good things.

- Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that life is precious.
- Accept the ups and downs, don’t put pressure on yourself to be positive all the time, come what may. If today was good, that’s great; if not, then that’s OK.
- Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Understand what true love is to love others, you first have to love yourself. 
That is, to accept yourself.

- Love is understanding; it is sharing your happiness.
- The best way to take care of yourself is to take care of others. Kindness nurtures kindness; it is warming and nourishing to the soul.
- We can be unkind to each other, or we can choose to encourage each other. It’s up to us to decide.
- Start small; it is more important to give unconditionally than to give a great deal.
- Don’t ever force yourself to give; find something you can give from the depths of your heart with joy.

Learn to have patience
Pride makes it very hard to listen to anybody else; it is much easier to learn and grow with humility.

- You don’t have to be good at every single thing!
- If you can step back even for a moment when things get heated, then you will create a gap for patience, to see things differently and look for a solution rather than a problem.
- To have patience takes great courage, to be calm much strength. You become a very understanding person, a wonderful listener.

Fearlessness is the key
Fear is a natural companion to heavy expectations. Think more about what you are going to do today and you will begin to worry less about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

- Listen to your fears. What are they telling you? Where there is fear there is often something you care about deeply. Be gentle on yourself but when you are afraid it might be a very good time to act.
- It is human to make mistakes – they are a part of life, so don’t let them put you off.
- If you can prepare for the worst – even be prepared for and accepting of death – then you have nothing left to fear. You are free.
- Be less formal, more spontaneous. Give things a go.
- Always remember that love will keep you fearless.

Let go of your stress
If you can accept yourself as you are, and begin to release your strong attachments and expectations, then stress too should lessen its stifling grip.

- Use meditation and contemplation to slow down your mind, think about what really matters in your life and make a commitment to putting those things first rather than always at the very end of the ‘to do’ list.
- Let go of winning and losing, of trying to be better than others.
- Don’t cling on to your mistakes or criticism. Have the courage to accept them, learn and pick yourself up.

Turn yourself on to the art of switching off
Everything can be a meditation, a calming of the wandering mind.

- Begin by familiarising yourself with the things around you, both on your journey and in the stillness of your room.
- Contemplate your own ups and downs — how did your day go?
- Then begin to allow your mind to gently empty, to just relax. Don’t try to ‘fix’ it; it will repair itself, given space.
- Don’t be frightened of the stillness and the quiet; it is like a cool, healing balm.

Everyday Enlightenment by His Holiness The Gyalwang Drukpa will be published on Thursday by Penguin, price £12.99. To order a copy for £10.99, with free P&p, call the YOU bookshop on 0843 382 1111, you-bookshop.co.uk

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2084765/How-taking-time-smell-roses-help-fulfilment.html#ixzz1jfC08IX9

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